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September 15, 2005

“Well-qualified”

The Onion has the real scoop on SCOTUS:

WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference Monday, President Bush named a 72-day-old gestating fetus as his nominee to fill the Supreme Court seat that opened following the death of Chief Justice William Rehnquist.
“Already, this experienced and capable embryo has demonstrated during his or her in utero existence a deep commitment to the core principles of the Constitution,” Bush said. “It is with great pride that I nominate this unborn American patriot to the highest court in the land.”
If confirmed by Congress, the bean-sized vertebrate would be the nation’s first prenatal Supreme Court justice.
The unnamed fetus, who made headlines only three weeks ago when he or she was appointed to the Virginia State Supreme Court after working at a private law practice for five hours, has enjoyed a meteoric career in American jurisprudence. A remarkable prodigy who graduated from Georgetown Law School mere days after his or her neural folds fused, the nominee reportedly shares much of the conservative, pro-business philosophy of the Bush White House.
… “The fetus’s judicial record, though extremely limited, is quite impressive,” said Carolyn Scuitto, a professor of constitutional law at Yale University. “Last week, it authored a majority opinion overturning an appellate court ruling that found that a Virginia-based insurance company had insufficiently disclosed rate increases to its customers.”
Scuitto added: “Bear in mind that the judge has fingerless stubs for arms and still sports traces of a tail.”

More at The Onion.

Posted by Stephen at 11:33 AM in Legal issues | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

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