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January 25, 2007

Jesus Cruise

Well, he has a better chance of being remembered for this than for his acting:

Tom Cruise has been hailed as the “Christ” of Scientology.
The actor, who is a devout follower of the religion, has been hailed by leaders of the faith as the “chosen one” who will spread the word.
High-ranking Scientologist David Miscavige is convinced Cruise, 44, will one day be worshipped like Jesus all over the world, becoming a prophet for the religion.
A source close to the actor is quoted by Britain’s The Sun newspaper as saying: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Just like Christ, he has been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right, just like Jesus.”
Cruise, a top ranking Scientologist, joined the Church of Scientology in the mid-80s. His wife Katie Holmes has reportedly converted to the faith.

And let’s not forget the elaborate Ron Hubbard fantasy this “faith” is based on. If you’re a Scientologist, you believe that 75 million years ago an evil galactic warlord called Xenu rounded up 13.5 trillion beings from another part of the galaxy, flew them to Earth, dumped them in volcanoes and vaporised them with nuclear bombs. You also believe that this scattered their radioactive souls, known as thetans, which were then trapped and implanted with a number of false ideas, including God, Jesus Christ and organised religion. And if you believe all this, you find it easy to conclude that the thetans then attached themselves to human beings, and are the cause of all our personal and global problems today.

But wait: if Jesus Christ was a false idea implanted by thetans, isn’t it just a little problematic for Cruise to be “just like Jesus”? I only ask.

In other “Ron Hubbard would be proud” news: J.Lo seems to be off her meds.

UPDATE 01/31/07: Miscavige has misgivings: the very idea that Tom Cruise is Jesus Cruise, say Church representatives, is “completely, totally and utterly a lie and a total fabrication.” Which is something Scientologists worldwide can really relate to.

Posted by Stephen at 11:41 AM in Religion + cults | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

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