April 18, 2007
Unlike a virgin
Given that most virginity pledgers lie about pretty much every aspect of their sexual history—and that many abstinence programs ply pledgers with “false, misleading, or distorted information”—it’s no surprise that the entire abstinence movement has now formally adopted dishonesty as its touchstone. Say hello to secondary virginity—virtual virginity for those committed Christians who just couldn’t wait:
Secondary virginity is a decision to abstain from sexual activity, starting with today and continuing until the day you get married. It’s an opportunity to start over. Your physical virginity may be lost, but virginity is more than just a physical state. It’s an attitude, a frame of mind. It’s manifested in the way you look at yourself and others.
Secondary virginity is a time to change bad habits and heal past wounds. It allows you to clean and renew yourself prior to marriage.
Better still, here are five steps to becoming a secondary virgin!
- Make a firm commitment to save yourself for marriage from now on, and believe you can do it. (Because you can!)
- Get away from people, places, things and situations that weaken your self-control. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is avoid people who tempt us.
- Avoid intense hugging, passionate kissing and anything else that leads to lustful thoughts and behavior. Anything beyond a brief, simple kiss can quickly become dangerous.
- Find non-physical ways to show your love and appreciation.
- Remember that anyone can start over. Including you! When you focus on commitment and self-discipline, you can control your impulses.
Although if you’re a Christian visiting Love Matters, chances are you’ve had a little difficulty with that last one over the years.
[Recycled post: I’m traveling. Originally published on February 26th 2007.]
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